The 3M’s of Entrepreneurship, and the myth
January 7, 2009 – 6:20 amIf there’s one thing I’ve heard time and time again as an entrepreneur, it’s how we will be sacrificing our marriage, our mastercard, and our mortgage - what’s known as the 3M’s.
Now, as an entrepreneur, sacrificing your mastercard or your mortgage is simply unavoidable. You quite nearly always have to put a stake in the company to raise funding (to show you’re going to stick around), which usually involves leveraging your assets (a mortgage), and if you’re trying to bootstrap the company, it usually also involves maxing your mastercards (yes, cards). But when it comes to the 3M’s, it’s the sacrificing your marriage part that I just can’t agree with.
The issue I have with marriage being a part of the 3Ms, really, is its very inclusion in the 3Ms. See the nature of the 3M’s is that they are components of entrepreneurship that are quite nearly unavoidable. We are therefore saying that marriage is another component of entrepreneurship that we just can’t help but sacrifice, and that’s simply not true.
In fact, I would wonder for the potential success of those entrepreneurs who allow marriage to be just another sacrificed part in the company-building process. After all, marriage is a commitment to a person for as long as they both shall live. If an entrepreneur is so easily willing to let that kind of commitment fall by the wayside, it not only shows a potential lack in priorities, but makes me wonder just how long I can trust their commitment to their own company. Their customers may not be as forgiving as their wife or husband might be.
Taking a less philosophical look at why I disagree with marriage being part of the 3 sacrificial M’s - the support added by one’s spouse can be of phenomenal benefit not only to the health of the entrepreneur, but to the health of the company. For example, Stacy and I aren’t even married, but applying the same notion to even a courtship relationship, Stacy helps me to encourage my team, arrange special get-togethers for my team, and even helps with blog posts (I love business, and God bless her, she usually listens to my ramblings on it well) by e-mailing me quick notes on something business related we had talked about that got me excited and might convert well into a blog post. Fundamentally, as a spouse should, she helps me be a better business man, and I know I am not the only person who has someone along side them like that.
Which leads me to my disagreement for marriage being included in the entrepreneur’s 3M’s. It not only places marriage’s value on the same playing field as money, or worse, in the same category as debt, but it also creates an inherent excuse for entrepreneurs to use if they do end up forsaking their marriage.
When it comes down to it, both from my own experience, and my experience with entrepreneurs, the “Marriage” part of the 3M’s is a myth. Were there hard times, as is the case with life itself? Sure. Did that mean that those entrepreneurs ever for a second thought their marriage was an element up for sacrifice? From what they said to me, no. If sacrificing your relationship for your company isn’t a myth, perhaps you should evaluate just what kind of support you’re missing out on.

Subscribe via